Practical Strategies to Work with Clients Who Struggle with a Harsh, Unrelenting Inner Critic

An out-of-control inner critic can keep clients frozen in fear and anxiety.

Over time, it can burn out their ambition, locking them into painful patterns of shame. Or harshly punish them when they fail to meet unattainable standards.

And when an inner critic turns toxic, it can leave a client powerless to make decisions and even unable to develop a true sense of self.

We thought this issue was so pervasive, touching over half of all clients, that we turned to the top experts in this space – 16 of them to be exact – and asked them how they work with a client’s inner critic. We took their sharpest insights and strategies to make. . .

How to Work with Clients Who Struggle with an Inner Critic

What’s Going On in the Brain When the Inner Critic is Active

Dan Siegel, MD      Kelly McGonigal, PhD      Ron Siegel, PsyD

• It starts in the nervous system – the neurobiological path that can leave your client vulnerable to inner hostility
• The 4-step process for disrupting the brain patterns that flood a client with self-judgment
• How to negotiate with a critic when it’s driving your client into obsessive-compulsive activity
• A brain-savvy approach to help transform an inner critic into an ally for change

How to Neutralize the Power of an Inner Critic

Laurel Parnell, PhD      Rick Hanson, PhD

• Why a client’s inner critic first appears (and how this can impact your attempt to remove it)
• How to work with toxic self-judgment that can alter a client’s sense of self
• The part of your approach that can affect the way a client relates to their most judgmental self

Helping Clients Break Free of the Inner Perfectionist

Pat Ogden, PhD      Kelly McGonigal, PhD      Ron Siegel, PsyD Rick Hanson, PhD

• How a fear of failure can get internalized and bind a client to deep anxiety and despair
• How to help reduce the performance pressure that prevents hyper-achieving clients from experiencing joy
• One vital concession that can help a client finally cast off a domineering inner critic

Quieting the Toxic Inner Voice That Can Drive Shame

Shelly Harrell, PhD      Rick Hanson, PhD

• How to engage a client’s critical self to reveal the core issue it fears most
• A crucial strategy for reducing the shame that gets triggered by the inner critic
• Why high-achieving people have a particularly hard time muting their self-critic

How to Work with the Inner Critic and Depression

Richard Schwartz, PhD      Kelly McGonigal, PhD Ron Siegel, PsyD

• The key question that can help disrupt the inner critic’s protective role
• Why certain inner critics will move clients into a shutdown state
• How to respond to an inner critic when it threatens the client with suicide

Expanding a Client’s Capacity to Live with Mistakes

Lynn Lyons, LICSW      Terry Real, MSW, LICSW     Rick Hanson, PhD

• How to reframe the way clients view mistakes to prevent the rise of an inner critic
• How to calm an inner critic that’s driving a client’s social anxiety
• One exercise to dismantle the “all or nothing” thinking that invites self-criticism
• How to work with a client’s inner critic when it prevents them from making a major life change

How to Help a Client Build Core Beliefs of Self-Worth

Christine Padesky, PhD      Ron Siegel, PsyD Joan Borysenko, PhD      Rick Hanson, PhD

• An early intervention to quickly assess an inner critic’s strength
• The crucial role of the therapeutic relationship in helping clients develop empathy toward their inner critic
• A powerful strategy to help clients replace rigid negative thoughts with positive core beliefs

How to Break the Patterns That Sustain an Inner Critic

Ron Siegel, PsyD      Rick Hanson, PhD Joan Borysenko, PhD

• How certain self-critical thoughts can become triggers for feelings of unlovability and hopelessness
• One shift in context to help clients stay grounded in the aftermath of bad decisions
• A two-part approach to help clients soften their inner critic’s defenses

One Missing Skill That Can Boost the Self-Critic’s Power

Michael Yapko, PhD      Ron Siegel, PsyD

• One aspect of depression that empowers a client’s inner critic
• Why some clients get stuck inside the space between achievement and perfection
• The main skill deficit that fosters a client’s anti-self (and how to reverse it)
• One intervention that can immediately render an inner critic powerless

How to Foster the Inner Nurturer

Rick Hanson, PhD      Kelly McGonigal, PhD

• A common approach to an inner critic that could be under-resourcing the client’s healing
• Why standard treatment methods often fall flat when a client is fused to their inner critic
• The specific attachment history that can complicate a client’s attempt to silence their critic
• How safety in a relationship could actually be binding a client tighter to their inner critic